*iDonatePoints

Lost her gold

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About Deviant Premium Member iDonatePointsUnited States

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#CollectAndGivePoints
Collecting&Giving Points!

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Deviant for 6 Months

1 Month Premium Membership:

Given by =kairichuu

Statistics 8 Deviations 2,786 Comments 17,063 Pageviews

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3,198 / 5,000

_{I've resigned as a point donor. Whether I come back or not, I don't know. But is I do, any points that have accumulated over my absence will be donated back to point donors I personally trust and have bonded with. <3
Donate if you wish.~}

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Nothing Gold Can Ever Stay [ - Updated Below - ]

by *iDonatePoints, 4 days, 8 hours ago
Journals / Personal

_{BEFORE YOU JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS, I came here to fix my little mistakes and leave a side note at the end.
__________________

I guess you can call this cowardly, but I don't want to be on dA anymore. Not on this account, my main account, or any other account.
I've thrown myself into so much drama, and the most recent scandal has literally killed me. The previous comments weren't the most hurtful ones, but the fact that they went out of their way to call me a bitch did. Aha, that's sweet.
I've known since I started the account that I would give up this account sooner or later, and I know I shouldn't have stepped this deeply into everything.
I've made too many friends I'll miss and too many memories that are as dear to me as the others I made in the past. But I'll carry on these memories and think of them when I try to finish my papers at midnight.
I have made myself sleepless, excited, happy, and paler from sitting behind this same desktop I've been using all this time.
I've been hurt by one comment, and that was the extra weight that made me realize that this account and all of my internet accounts are useless when it comes to real life.
Thank you, ~NecroWarriorGFX for helping me realize that I am a bitch for not doing this earlier. And thank you for reminding me of those days I've been bullied in the past.
You are right, though. I have quit.

I'm beyond selfish and selfless with this resignation, but I'm sorry. I really am. My featured donors are probably glaring me down as they read this, and those who wished to get more points from me are gasping in shock.

I'm beyond weak and what makes me weak is this. Everything that's spinning so fast, that had stabbed me has been coming back. I can feel the pain I felt back then and I can feel the fear of insulting someone else. I am the kind who wants other's approval, and when I fail to do so and instead get insulted...well they've stabbed my weak spot.

I wasn't that good of a donor anyway.
I'm so bipolar and mean and insulting and needy.....I'm a bitch, I guess.

But I can't blame this entirely on them. It's my fault.
I've been stressed.
I've been piling up a bunch of papers.
I narrowly missed getting thrown out of NJHS.
I tried to do good, but it doesn't work for me anymore. It felt so nice to donate to people...I felt so happy. Thank you guys for keeping this pest happy. ^ ^
But I'm so busy nowadays, what if this happens again?
What if it gets worse?
I want to help, but I guess daHub and ArtisanGuild has that covered. I aspire to be you both so much. Thank you too.

I know by this point that you are aching to know what is happening to all those points I have accumulated. I'll give you a screenshot of my transaction sheet below.
The points in my group's bank will be given to :devproject-pointgoals:.
My main account? I've been commissioning like crazy so I used up all of the points I collected there.

Memories:
1. Going ghetto with Charlie
2. Calling Marian Mario
3. Pissing off Carli by spamming
4. Having fun with Carli by having an emote war
5. Donating to Ricochet
6. Giving those two PMs
7. Making new friends in the streams
8. Squealing in front of kairichuu
9. Fangirling over Lindsey Stirling
10. Showing off my Hipster playlist
11. Meeting shannon, flallen, heart, summer, ling, carli, mario, charles, mickey, kairi, zoro, pointsforever, lizzy, love, invera, sky, sugary, maddy, chiquka, shida, morgan, sunny, julie, saber, marky, franny, joseph, stasie, emmy, unicorn, jess, bri, waiting for wings, monochrome, austin, my donors, my watchers, and everyone I blocked
I love you all.
You don't know how warm I felt when I type out your names.

Yes I am weak...yes I am a moron for letting this little thing get to me...but it's a mix of things.

Aha, I've stalled enough. I love you all. ♥

I won't deactivate. I know I'll sneak on here to stalk my beautiful friends.

Update: I came here to fix the errors I made in this journal, and take out the sentences that are downright "floating". I can't bring myself to reply to these comments and notes, which range from either wrong/uncaring-I respect your decision, but I still love you. I feel like I'll make things worse with things I'll say, like I haven't made everything messed up already.
Anyways, stay gold guys.}